The Dilemma, Radio, and Unfulfilled Dreams
I've always wanted to be in a band.
In high school, my friends Eva, Jon and I had one that we wanted to start: The Dilemma.
To be honest, we probably should've. We probably would've, too, if we set days to practice or even a song to play.
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I moved to New York in the fourth grade.
"You can pick band, chorus, or music," the orientation lady told me.
"I want to play the drums," I said.
"Oh, you can't play the drums. They started last year."
I probably should've then picked chorus, but the constant reminder from my brother that I was making his ears bleed made me decide to protect everyone else's hearing and pick music class.
I still wanted to play the drums.
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A few years later, I guess my pestering to my parents was enough to have them enroll me in drum lessons.
Unfortunately, my lessons took place in front of a window -- a window that our grades' notorious bullies would sit at, facing me, every time. Now, I'm sure they weren't listening to me at all. In fact, they were probably working on their own music. Either way, having three guys facing a fifteen year old girl? Not ideal.
Have you ever tried learning something new? It's scary.
Have you ever tried learning something new with an audience? Near impossible.
I should've spoken up and asked my teacher to clear the room. Instead, I sat anxiously, my brain consumed with 'what are they thinking' rather than what I was being asked to play.
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Instead of picking up the drums again in university, I focused my talents elsewhere while still being surrounded by music.
I hosted events with friends, in collaboration with Sofar Sounds.
I worked at several radio stations: CHRW in London, 93.7 JR Country and THE PEAK in Vancouver, and Mountain FM in Whistler. I even almost started working in the promotions department at KISS Radio, instead pivoting to become a writer.
I'd always kept myself close to music, filling my cup with other people's tunes.
Now that I'm away from the radio world, this desire to play my own music has returned and I've picked up the bass guitar. I'm currently doing pretty well with my practicing, and am excited.
Do I still want to try the drums one day? Of course. And I probably will.
For now, I'll continue enjoying my quieter instrument -- one that I can play behind closed doors, without an audience.
