Living with four boys
Yep, you read that correctly: I live with four boys.
Three boys and a cat, but I’m fairly certain we’d all argue that Sully is truly one of us.
Now, before you wonder why I’d ever subject myself to this living arrangement, note that I’ve lived in some weird places.
There was a time when I lived in a house with eleven people, sharing a staircase landing with a stranger who slept a little more than arm’s-length away. The same house had a disco ball and a two-story beer bong that started near my pillowcase, always at the ready to shoot into an open mouth one floor below.
I'd also lived in a house with a saxophone-playing neighbor, thin walls, and an interesting spare room which consisted of a free television we’d gotten from some spiteful guy on Facebook Marketplace -- so spiteful that he even hand delivered it -- and a GameCube with just two controllers. Parallel to the setup was a couch made exclusively out of excess toilet paper rolls, which, as the year went on, deflated slowly as we worked through the stockpile.
AAAAAAAAnyways.
Being the only girl in a house of boys, I’ve come to understand that we are actually not the same. This may come off wrong, but what I mean is that while we’re of equal importance, we definitely have different ways of operating.
I’ve found that the boys are very solution-oriented, whereas I’m emotion-oriented. We also tend to mirror each others efforts -- thus revealing my lack thereof.
In reminding the boys how to clean and tidy, I’ve been recognizing my own downfalls.
In asking them to put their dishes away, I’ve noticed how much I leave out. In bugging everyone to take their finished laundry out of the laundry room, I’ve come to understand the importance of space and moving things when I'm not using them.
Although my clutter in other communal spaces seemed out of the way to me, it was only out of the way because people made space for it or cleaned up after me. It took mirroring from the roomies to realize just how much other people have done for me, and how unknowingly inconsiderate I’ve been in the past.
I now know that leaving things around is fine if you live alone, or if it’s your room, but it isn’t considerate of others who share the space.
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For you, the reader: over the next week, if you find yourself annoyed by a situation, ask yourself why you’re truly annoyed. Identify what it is, and take a few days to watch your actions -- are you contributing to the issue? What are ways you can fix it? Don’t act impulsively when it affects others; think your options through before making a decision.
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Before learning to look inward, I let every minor mess bother me. My vibes would unknowingly change, causing unnecessary tension to ripple through the household. It got to a point where each of us seemed to be taking mental tallies of the mistakes the others had made.
It sounds so dumb to type out, but stopping to think things through has been incredibly helpful. It’s made me realize that telling everyone everything about my life -- without pausing to ask myself what I want -- was my way of getting people to assist me in every decision. By avoiding decisions, I avoided responsibility.
Responsibility and growing up seem to go hand in hand, and I’m honestly not too mad about it. I’ve now tasked myself with keeping the house at a baseline level of clean. Each night before bed, I try do a sweep of the communal spaces. Unless I know I’ll be using something the next morning, I bring it to my room and put it away. Even if they aren’t my dishes, I put away whatever has been left out and wipe down the countertops. You know how long this takes each night? Around ten minutes.
Now, I’m not saying the mess was all mine. I’m just saying that when you start with a clean slate, it’s a lot easier to spot a spill. I don’t know if this will make sense, but make of it what you will: when there’s mess everywhere, you don’t notice the crumbs. When everything’s clean, you feel an urge to clean the crumbs as soon as they fall.
When things are naturally kept tidy, maintaining them isn’t a chore -- it’s just something that happens.
Good luck out there, and please let me know the tips you use to keep yourself accountable, responsible, and tidy.
